My whole life I’ve been an athlete. Always been an athlete first and whatever else comes second (ie. student, daughter etc.) My whole life has been working up towards my goal of being a varsity athlete. I accomplished that goal and for the past two years have been on a varsity field hockey team.
I have only played in a handful of games. Why haven’t I been playing? Is a question I’ve asked myself on an almost daily basis. Is it because I’m not good enough? Or is it for some other reason? The answer to this question I struggle with. I like to equate my lack of playing time to my string of chronic injuries. But before the injuries, I was a rookie and not playing. There seems to always be an excuse as to why I can’t play.
This injury may be my last straw to being able to play. No one can figure out what is wrong with me, so now I’m waiting for yet another appointment with a different doctor. This has been quite a test of my patience and I’m starting to believe God no longer wants me to play a sport.
It seems like God doesn’t want me to figure out what is wrong with my hips so that he can use me in some way other than in sport. Although I’m starting to come to terms with the end of my athletic career there are still tons of ups and downs. It’s scary to think that what I’ve identified as over my life is probably coming to an end, I am excited to see what new doors will be opened up to me.
Finding Myself 